Wednesday, December 8, 2010

Looking for god in all the wrong places...

I have always been looking for structure in my faith, wanting to come up with my own personal theology on who or what god is, when really, I don't think any of that matters. To me, what matters more is to determine what my principles are and use them as pillars to stand on while searching for and opening myself up to all of the beautiful mysteries of life. When I don't limit my beliefs to my definition of them, but rather open myself up to the possibilities, I allow myself the opportunity to find god in many different places in my life.

I flinch as I type the word god above because I fear even that word is limiting. Depending on where you live in the world, god takes on a certain definition. For that reason, I think I will give up on god. The word, not the idea.

Last night, at my UU church while taking a class that talked about faith, we were asked to define our own personal version of god. What god was and what it wasn't. I really couldn't put a finger on my god. It just felt so elusive, so hazy, so undefinable. And somehow, last night, that feeling of not knowing became OK as I decided it was the search for meaning that held all of the value for me. The unfolding. What comes about as I witness the Spirit of Life in all of its beauty.

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