Thursday, February 11, 2010

Beach Walk...

I've been living everybody else's life too much lately and needed to get away by myself today in order to spend a bit of time alone. To reconnect with my passions and dreams, which sometimes can get lost under the daily demands of raising a family.

To let the search for sea glass along the shore or rush of the sea restore me. To try and slow down and be present and take in the beauty around me.

As a person who strives to not lead a busy life, life has just been too busy lately. In the last month, I have changed my family's diet in a major way which requires me to make many of our meals from scratch. I am also finding going back to school to be a big adjustment for my son, especially regarding homework, and have spent many, many nights trying to help him manage his time better in that department. These new obligations are stacked on top of what I already do as a mom. Most nights, I have found the day comes to an end before I have had a chance to take some time for myself. Sometimes life drags me off track in this way, and I have found time away in nature allows me to get back on track.
So today, I ignored the driveway full of snow my son and I couldn't finish shoveling yesterday, left the bills in a stack unpaid, and headed out to the beach.

The bright blue sky welcomed me and the snow underfoot made everything feel fresh.

As there were very few other people about, it was just me and a few birds twittering in the trees.

I stopped several times to gaze out onto the water, trying to empty my mind of its clutter. To push family obligations begging for my attention to the bottom of my mind and focus for now on me. To think of what I want from this one life I am living. Maybe it is my age, but I don't just want to be known as being a good wife and mother. I want to have time to focus on my interests and be successful in my own right. Over the years, I have put so much of my time into my family and I feel good about how well they have all turned out. But now, it is time for me.

Heading home, the pocketful of sea glass I found along the beach stood as testament of time well spent. I will place the collected glass in a clear jar on my windowsill, enabling the sun to shine through. Reflecting its colors into my world and reminding me of the beauty of life's possibilities.


Tilda said...

What a beautiful place :)

Jen said...

The one thing that I really miss about Florida is walking the beach, clearing my head and searching for the perfect piece of sea glass. (Blue was always the best). The pieces that I have are on a windowsill along with a few of my favorite shells and rocks. So glad you took some time for yourself. It's important.