Typically, I would head outdoors when feeling this way and upon return would find my head clear and myself re-energized, centered and able to tackle tasks at hand and carve out some time for myself.
This winter feels different. Not that the demands of my life are any different, just that this winter itself is different. As a life long lover of winter, I have always embraced the cold, the wind, the snow. I loved nothing more than to head out into a storm, hiking through deep snow or to ski along a trail noticing how snow cover would bring a welcome silence to an area.
But this year winter has brought us ice. Ice on the power lines, coating the limbs of trees and bringing them down into the yard. Ice on the roads, driveways and walks. Ice hanging off the house and coating the snow.
It is the ice that has formed on the snow that I find most troubling. It is impossible to ski in it. Impossible to walk on it...your feet breaking through a top layer of frozen crust to the soft, deep snow below or snow becoming an icy mass as it melts on the warmer days and freezes again at night. My backyard currently reminds me of the surface of the moon and at night when I stumble across the cold and barren yard, navigating with my pup on the deeply pitted uneven surface, I feel like I have traveled to the moon. In fact, I may as well be on the moon right now, given how sequestered I am from the winter world I typically enjoy.
Because stepping outside in such slippery conditions is both dangerous and frustrating this year, spending time outdoors is not the salve that typically solves much for me. As a result, I have made a pact with myself to encourage me to find time each day to tend to elements of mind, body and spirit. A more forced approach than what would come naturally with being outdoors, but one that works all the same. Already I am finding myself in a better place. Winter's icy grip is lessening even though it is still very much here.